How to stop fearing the outcomes of conceiving after miscarriage?
Sadgurudev Anandmurti Gurumaa addresses this question from a woman who had a miscarriage and is now engulfed with the thoughts about that, as well as fears conceiving another child, lest the outcome is same. Q: After my recent miscarriage in the third month, I keep getting the thought of having a baby again and again. I want to wait till both me and my husband is ready mentally and emotionally but this feeling comes as a very strong wave and I find it hard to even concentrate on my daily activities. I am also scared if I conceive again and if things don't go well again. How can I just get this thought out of my mind? Gurumaa: You have to understand that for a woman it is a great joy to become a mother, but a woman has to understand that with a child or without a child she is a complete entity. And she has to realize this that as a woman and as an individual there is a bounty of beauty for you, and you are wasting your life by thinking about why that child went away or why you shouldn’t quickly have a new baby. If you are going to pinpoint all of your hope and joy on an unborn child with anticipation, then you will never be able to live your life in a calm and peaceful state of mind. You need to understand that everything comes and happens in its own good time, one should never be in a rush. You need to be a complete woman on your own who feels this completeness in herself. A woman, who is finding her completeness in her husband, her children, her family name, and money, is a definite sign of a very weak woman. And if you remain a weak woman what would you produce? Most definitely a weak child. So please focus on yourself, join some dance or music classes, join some hobby or activity and devote your time in grooming yourself. Be physically and mentally strong. Love yourself, love your husband, love the life, and try to see the small beautiful joys around you. Fill your mind’s basket with these joys. Don’t just waste time speculating about your next child. Well, everything will happen in good time. Don’t be cornered and don’t waste your present moment with sadness.