Q : Dear Gurumaa I had been struggling for long with my unhappy marriage, I finally took the decision to surrender all my things and left my so called husband. I should be a happy person as I have started my life afresh, but why deep down, I have not overcome the fear of walking through my new life. Please guide me.
Judie Lim
Answer Judie, marriage is meant to be a relationship between two willing, matured individuals who trust one another, who care for one another, who love one another. If these things are missing and two people are living together under one roof and they just have a certificate of court or of the church, stating that this man is husband and this woman is wife, well this is not marriage.
In my point of view you were actually never married. You went through the ritual of marriage and yet you were never married. Being in a marriage and feeling that state of being cared, being longed for by your partner is all together a different thing.
You need not to feel bad for yourself and you need to give a chance to yourself. You deserve better and this time don’t make any foolish mistakes. And know this that love and care is the base of marriage, trust, sharing and giving is the foundation of the marriage. All marriages should be solemnized on this basis. But what happens is that we get so much lured by the looks and position of the man, that we never ever think about the mental capabilities of the person. Would that person be able to give me what I am looking for.
We are so much absorbed in the needs of the body, that lust takes over our mind and soon the bubble of lust gets busted. And once it gets busted then, you are in a very ugly situation, where that individual is with you, living with you but now you don't have that lure, now you don't have that attraction and once that attraction vains off then the relationship becomes a burden.
Be cool, take good care of yourself , go easy on life and go easy on yourself.
Gurumaa
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