Q : I realize that my loved ones care for me and love me deeply. However many small actions and words of their hurt me and results in negativity. I am aware of this situation and I fully try to rationalize their words from their perspective but I am unable to get rid of parallel chatter of negativity in the brain. Can Gurumaa help me?
Madhu Ahuja
Answer Gurumaa can't help you until and unless you are not ready to help yourself. We expect too much and we have a script written in our head on how people should behave with us, how they should react, how they should act, how they should speak, how they should do the things . We wish that everyone should play according to the script which we have written in our brain.
Similarly other individuals too have a story written in their heads and they want others to act and respond according to that. So I would say that this is a clash of scripts as every individual is born with the huge ego of ‘what I think is right and what others think is wrong.’
You always try to prove that what I think, what I have said, what I believe is right. We wish to confirm it with logic or sometimes with anger, with harsh & loud words. Know this that this is the case of every un-awakened individual. It is but natural for you too as neither you are enlightened nor the people around you.
So, when so many un-awakened and ignorant people with great egos having scripts running in their heads live together there are going to be tussles, fights, confrontations, arguments, and disagreements. So, we have to think what we can do about it? I can say that you have to let go off the idea that what you think or what you know is the best for everyone and for yourself. Let go off your expectancy from people and be flexible and loving.You can't love others if you don't love yourself. Your heart is filled with so much of unhappiness, sadness, dejections, frustrations which always cause you to trigger the anger. It isn't that other individuals or people are putting these negativities in you. It is the negativity which you are carrying within yourself which is ready to be unleashed and released.
So you have to learn the ways to release your frustrations and tensions in such a way that you don't harm yourself & people around you too. You have to create that space in which all these unwanted negativities can be released for which I suggest you to practice Yog Nidra every day.
Yog Nidra is a perfect tool to understand what you are carrying in your subconscious mind. How much anger and pain has been repressed in your mind. Anything which is repressed or suppressed doesn't just stay down for a long-long time; it will come out at some point of time. And the problem is that when these repressed emotions take an upsurge and make their presence which is so unpredictable that the individual himself is surprised for his or her behavior. He/she then wonders that how could I be that harsh or angry or lustful or greedy or etc. etc.... Yog Nidra will help you to understand movements of your mind and it will help you to understand the feelings, the emotions and the problems which we create for ourselves.
Our mind is so much sully, so much polluted with negative thoughts that it becomes very difficult to deal with individuals in a normal way. So the problem is that no one lives with strangers; everyone lives either with their family members or their loved ones and these loved ones are the ones with whom you have these kinds of hurting confrontations.
You don't want to hurt them and let you hurt. This is very unconscious game which everyone is playing. Those who learn to be conscious and understand their mind could gradually come out of this vicious circle.
Gurumaa
Useful LinksYoga Nidra: The techniqueQuestions on Yoga NidraScience of MantraChantingBurning the Negativity
