Q : My husband is in love with you but he is in a fix in between his previous guru and you. How can he put his one leg in one boat and another in another boat at the same time? Due to this we fight. I don’t like all this, how can a person leave his old guru! Should a master be changed that often? Advise how to stop this quarrel? Malvika
Answer Malvika, before taking someone as your guru, one has to know, what is the definition of a guru? Who can be called a guru? Because as such the guru word has a many broader meanings and right from your mother to your father, to school teacher, to your professor, to your music guru, dance guru, painting guru, guru word is a word which has many colors and tones to it. On the path of spirituality, when we call someone a guru, even then there are varieties of definitions given to that. For example- your Mantra Guru, your Kul Guru and then comes your Gyan Guru then your Diksha Guru, I mean Sanyaas Diksha Guru. So even in the run of religion, we have these multiple gurus. Different gurus can be: your Mantra Guru, Gyan Guru, Diksha Guru or it is also possible that one guru takes all the charge and is capable and competent enough to give you all these elements and needed guidance. The word guru should not be misunderstood and the word guru in itself means the one who takes us from darkness to light, one who is awakened and helps us to be on the path and helps us to be a seeker, who helps us to gain the qualities of dispassion, love, who helps me to seek my self realization but the question is this, do you select the guru or the guru selects you? And important question is: who is guru? Guru is not the one who is in any bondage or who wishes to put someone in his so called relationship bondage.
Guru is the one who has experienced the absolute parabrahma, the one who has mastered the path of yoga, bhakti, gyaan. If all in 3 combination, well that’s the classic-classic unique guru but most of the times, gurus are following one particular path, it could be bhakti, gyaan or yoga. So whom you consider a guru might be a guru but yet that guru might not be in the right capacity or in that right eligibility or that right caliber, where what you require, is given to you. See in the ancient times, Rishi Ved Vyaas himself is a great master rishi, but instructs his son Shukdev to go to Raja Janak because Janak alone can give the brahma gyaan and there had been so many instances that where the seeker is being ordered by the guru to go to another guru. Guru is not the one who is kind of, who has opened up some kind of a shop, guru is not a person where you just create your emotional bondages and because of those bondages you stop seeing the facts that, are you really on the path or not? “Guru baar baar badla jaata hai” You have said that. Well, if your mantra guru is someone else and your gyaan guru is someone else and tomorrow if your diksha guru can definitely be someone else but when we call a someone as my guru, it should not be because of some emotionality i.e. just some feelings.
There is something very constructive, something great which is going on. And if your heart is in communication with such a master then definitely there won’t be any need to seek someone else. But then again we have this ancient history of the seeker who was with the guru but could not accomplish with that guru, not because the guru was incomplete but because the approach was not working with this particular disciple. So either the disciple chooses himself or herself and goes to another master or the master instructs that person to go to other master. The ultimate destination is not guru bondage, the ultimate destination for the seeker should be realization of the truth and guru is just a tool, a medium which helps the seeker to achieve the target. So there shouldn’t be any confusion and at least from my side, I have no objections from anyone who is a pre-disciple of someone or who wishes to be with someone and still wishes to listen to me and come to me. I am open to all and I don’t think so that once you have being really satiated by a master you would ever ever need a master but if someone is needing a master, another master then definitely is a sign that everything is not as it should be. I am not saying that your husband is week or that particular saint is not complete, it can be so that sometimes the synchronicity of two individuals does not meet. So there is no reason to fight and there is no reason to have an argument, you cannot make anyone love you, if someone loves you then the person loves you and if someone doesn’t loves you, then that someone doesn’t loves you.
Guru cannot be chosen by someone. You choose your guru. Once you have chosen your guru, be sincere with your master. Don’t be dishonest and even if you are dishonest, your guru is not going to lose anything. For example Malvika, if your husband does not ever come to me again or you don’t ever come to me again, I don’t loose anything, I won’t be missing you but if someone says so that I will miss you Malvika if you don’t come to me or I’ll be upset or I’ll be angry then you should definitely have some suspicion about what kind of dignity that person is holding. The guru shishya relationship is a relationship of heart to heart and it is not endorsed or induced by someone.
Gurumaa
