I am married for last 5 years, yet childless. Please help?

Q : I am a married woman living with my husband and we are trying to have a baby since the last 5 years, but there has been no success yet. We have already been to so many doctors and we did everything that was suggested by them. But somehow we are not getting the positive results, despite every possible effort from our side. Now at times I feel very sad and depressed. Should I accept that it is not meant to happen and this is my destiny? Please guide me, Gurumaa.

Liza

Answer

Liza, my sympathies are for you that you wish to be a mother and somehow things are not happening. But there is no need to feel depressed, my suggestion is there are so many children who because of their unfortunate situations have been orphaned, who, because of the circumstances are now without their parents and they are living a life of drudgery in some orphan homes.

Why don’t you go to such a place & adopt a baby? Maybe adoption of the baby and accepting this child in your life seeps more nurturing juices in you, maybe because of this gesture things may change. I am not saying that use this adopted baby as a ploy to get a natural baby. What I mean to say is if you are missing being a mother, then do not be hell bent to have your own biological child.

As such there are IBF & other artificial inseminations and so many procedures and there have been some good results. Maybe you can try those & if you have tried and they have not worked, then there are two ways - either keep on trying or adopt a baby, which I have seen some of the very noble, educated good couples do and now they are enjoying being a mother, being a father and that is your choice & I cannot say anything.

I am not a miracle maker, so I do not know how you can have a baby. But for now I would say do not be lonesome, do not be depressed, do not be sad. Learn to accept whatever state is now and think about adoption. It is not a bad thing; it might turn out to be a good thing for you.

Gurumaa

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Tags: adoption, child, childless, loneliness