You & I...

THE JOY OF TOGETHERNESS

Through the ages, people have been unhappy in their relationships. Speak to any father, he complains about his children; speak to any husband or any wife, they have complaints for each other; as long as they are being diplomatic, they will keep up a very sound face, a beaming smile and a false story to explain their happiness. We are happy to live in delusions and we are happier when we present these delusions as reality to others.

Try to understand that the whole idea of a relationship begins from that point when you have already established a sound, beautiful, and dynamic rapport with your own self. Isn’t it a joke that we are bothered about others but we are not worried about our own self? We often ask as to how I can have a healthy relationship with others, but the question should be how I can have a sound relationship with myself. A person who is himself lost cannot give directions to others. It’s as simple as that. Our society and our family – all have been leading an ignorant life. They themselves have been stumbling. Ask any parent, did they plan their baby? Were they emotionally, psychologically ready for this new system, a new person in their life? Were they ready to be a vehicle to bring a new soul on this earth, to give birth to a new body, to give a new life, to be engaged for a wandering soul to start a new journey? Ninety nine per cent of the answers will be that children are born unplanned.

Children are just accidental inventions.

Children are just happening to the parents and now because they are pregnant, they must give birth to the child. They must rear the child and they must provide a sound family system according to their own understanding. The issue is really very important, and I wish to take your attention on this as no one ever has guided you on these lines – Before you think of others, think of yourself. Let me quote Jesus Christ on this ,’the other is hell’ , when you say other, it is going to be hell. Why? Because if you don’t understand your own self, you will not understand anyone who is around you. There will be elements around you who are foreign to you, who are different from you, who have their own entity , withwhom you have to build a relationship that can be friendly one or filled with prejudices and hatred.

The basic thing is that for the person who has known the real self, the term “other” no longer exists; there is no one other left. Whoever he sees, talks to, meets, communicates, that person will never be the other, as every other person has now become his/her own reflection. If you stand in front of a mirror, you see your own face. What do you see, when you look into people’s eyes? In first place, you must have that deep-rooted, communicative eye to look at the other person. As you are hiding your own true self and living a false life, so is the other person. So, these two false personalities will never gel, will never have a communion, and will never have a heart-to-heart relationship. What they will have is just a communication and in these times of great scientific inventions we don’t have to be in front of one another, e-mail will do all the work and SMS will do the rest.

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Compassion is a divine attribute. It’s the only feeling, which is able to melt the heart away. It is very intense. When a heart melts out of abundance of love, compassion flows out. Like the overflowing of water being stored behind a dam during the times of flood, compassion also knows no boundaries. These are the strong surges of emotions, which arise in our heart.

Compassion is a natural state of beingness, a state in which God resides eternally. When we feel the surge of compassion in our heart, we tend to transcend our sense of self. All our thoughts stand still and it is in this stillness that we feel the waves of compassion. We feel wonderfully unified with the soothing waves, as these are the glimpses of our original nature. Compassion is akin to universal benevolence which knows only one thing and that is how to give out. And this conforms perfectly to the divine nature. God has only been giving out, all the time, never expecting anything in return. He is an infinite reservoir of benevolence and compassion.

We are standing at the other end of this reservoir and receiving the grace, depending upon the purity of our heart. To ensure this flow of grace, these waves of compassion have to have unrestricted movement. If we join this universal energy exchange and start giving out, we feel as if these waves are surrounding us with all the intensity and thus this divine attribute called compassion gets manifested through us.

Compassion is a goodwill towards others. All beings long for love and happiness and therefore, it gives us sufficient reason to cultivate and cherish the feelings of goodwill towards them. Compassion is the highest virtue because it tends to dissolve our ego without any effort. We feel a sort of ‘being melted away’. Perhaps that’s what the universe expects us to be. As we know universe operates with a wonderful effortless ease, in perfect harmony with everything, it never feels restless. On the other hand, we have seen ourselves behave in a restless manner in spite of having accumulated everything. It appears that this restlessness is attributable to our tendency of ‘not giving out.’

We know God never owns anything. But His essence pervades and constitutes each and every thing in this vast universe. It is His creation, which is not owned by him but given to us as a wonderful ‘gift’ so that we can experience it and evolve to higher dimensions of our existence. On the other hand, we tend to own the objects of this world. It gives us the impression of our self being expanded in order to feel a sense of security. These objects are, therefore, reduced to a means to increase our self-worth. We are not able to perceive their intrinsic worth, their true essence. Can we not observe them without attaching any price tag, appreciating their essence? This sort of attitude will help us to get rid of our sense of ownership. Once our ego stops deriving its strength from accumulation of the objects, there remains no giver.

In case of charity, the giver is always present whose sole intention is to strengthen, ‘his own sense of self’, which boosts up the ego further. Charity, being a mental product, is very calculating in nature.

On so many occasions, we earnestly wish to reach out to help people and express our most sublime emotions. When we see a person in distress, our heart immediately tends to get connected with that person and we do observe small streams of loving kindness within our depths, flowing out to that person. It is here and now that the seeds of compassion, lying dormant within our recesses, constituting the very nature of our being, tend to get invoked. Although the seeds get activated, they are not usually allowed to germinate and grow for want of right nutrition and environment. Our psychological set-up has been so conditioned by the so-called societal value system that it immediately starts analyzing the whole situation with reference to one’s profit motive. In spite of our innate nature of being kind and compassionate, we are, more often than not, constrained to think and analyze the whole situation in a particular pattern, which is centered towards the self. In such situations when we go through these surging urges to reach out to the other, we find ourselves lacking in mustering up enough strength to translate our urge into physical reality. This lack of strength can be attributable to a host of fears, with which our minds have been impregnated over a period of time. It may be fear of material loss, prestige, power, status etc. The urge to ‘reach out’ to others with purity of feelings and loving kindness, seems to be a direct blow in the face of our ego which thrives only on cultivating and furthering our sense of fear.

Whenever we come across such life-situations we generally find ourselves in great dilemma whether to express feelings of compassion, etc. or not.

Why do we decide to limit ourselves?

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Gibberish Meditation

become lighter and alive

To most of us, meditation is a technique that we have to do or practice but in reality it is all about doing nothing and eventually resting in peace. All through the day you keep running after this or that work, ensuring that everything is in place, but it’s surprising to note that seldom does one devote time to discover one’s inner self.

There is no need to escape from the world and rush to the Himalayas to seek peace of mind. The truth is that contentment is right here, within us, in our hearts. Most of the people find it difficult to follow certain meditation techniques which are complex and require stringent discipline. So, here is a playful and absolutely joyful technique of meditation which is intense in its own way. This meditation technique is called Gibberish, and is rightly so.

Gabar, a wonderful Christian mystic, introduced this meditation technique which later came to be known as Gibberish. It is said that people would come to Gabar with all kinds of questions about enlightenment and he would simply answer with nonsensical sounds.. At first people thought he was crazy and that no one would come to listen. But hundreds of people came and he ended up having more disciples than any other mystic of his time.

He just talked nonsense, a constant stream of sounds and words with no commas or periods, no sentence structure. He enjoyed himself. He would laugh as if he was telling jokes and then he would start all over again. By and by, the disciples, who continually increased in number, realized that just by sitting near him, listening to his gibberish, their minds became more and more silent. And that was his whole purpose: to bring them into a state of meditation, to bring them in touch with their own inner silence. This great mystic answered their questions by taking them deep inside themselves, beyond the mind where their own answers lay.

Human mind is a chatter box.

We really don’t need anyone to do the talking. We can talk to our own self for hours; we talk when we are awake, we talk in dreams also. A constant monologue is happening. Mind is neurotic and this is really very harmful. No one has harmed us more than this sick mind. We don’t know how to become quiet, how to still our mind, how to put an end to this blabbering.

Gibberish Meditation is a wonderful tool to move towards inner silence. It may be done at any time of the day while alone or in a group. All that you have to do is gaze into the sky for ten to fifteen minutes. Then start singing la…la…la…Forget everything, just sing la…la…la…Soon it will begin to change its color, sounds may change into words, even foreign words. Keep it up for twenty minutes. Bring out everything from inside, all the repressed thoughts.

Gibberish helps you to clear your mind of all the craziness that has piled in your mind for centuries. Allow yourself to express whatever needs to be expressed within you. The mind thinks always in terms of words. Gibberish helps to break up this pattern of continual verbalization. Without suppressing your thoughts, you can throw them out - in Gibberish.

As you throw it out, your mind will become lighter and more alive within minutes. Let the sky be the witness. . And if your body begins to move, let it sway. At the end, lie down on the ground and be silent. You will experience a deep silence. Lesser and lesser thoughts will come to your mind.

This is an excellent method to release all physical, mental and emotional pressures. So gibber your worries away and be blissful!

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Be a Monarch, Not a Beggar

True self is without a boundary, all pervasive. In terms of existence, there isn’t any boundary, but on the level of mind, body and speech, we divide the existence into me, you and them.

I have relationship with body, senses, mind, intellect – these are so close but so far from the self. Entwined with one another and yet so very much separate. Can you see the line of demarcation where body ends and mind begins or mind ends and self begins? Mind is a subtle form of matter and body is a gross form of subtle or the mind. Mind and matter are not different from one another. A quantum physicist would say that matter and energy are not two different entities. The source of matter is energy and matter keeps on moving from being matter and energy, now visible and now invisible.

Mind is invisible but the body is very much visible. Hence we perceive ourselves as body alone because our identification and association with the body is deep. The reality is that this self is not just a sum total of body, mind, feelings, thoughts and consciousness. The “I” with whom we are associated is illusionary. The “I” we know has more to do with mind or body and the reality is that our real “I” remains very much obscure. Now, this is funny indeed – if I don’t know who this “I” is, then how can I have a sound relationship with others around this “I”?

Man hides his own emotional needs, desires, and weaknesses from his own self. Only if he could acknowledge his fallacies and begin to work with wisdom, he wouldn’t be throwing dirt on others. When you are angry, then whosoever is in front of you will be in the line of your fire. You’ll shoot him with the bullets of anger, frustrations and hatred. The other person will obviously be baffled. Before we yell in desperation that no one understands you, the question arises: “Do you understand yourself?” Man is so blinded that never registers his own emotional baggage which he is always carrying with him.

A tree which is firm in its roots can withstand winds and floods. The tree which is weak in its roots can be easily uprooted even by frail jolt. You can’t be a better husband, mother, friend, wife, brother, business partner to any one if you aren’t rooted in self.

Every relationship is different from the other but most of the time basic problems are the same. I am a pauper – the other is a pauper; but we wish to be rich by joining together. We all wish that the other should fulfill you, but the question is can anyone really do it? Everyone in society is moving around with empty bowls, and everyone wants to be rich.

Know this as the truth: no one can make you rich, no one can fulfill you, and no one can give meaning to your life. The fact remains that no one but YOU can do this for yourself. So stop hankering for appreciation from other.

Learn to explore your inner core, your untapped energy source and rejoice in it. Love yourself, respect yourself and every one will send the same vibes to you. Unbelievable, but true! This is called the Law of Attraction. What you think will begin to happen to you, whatever you ask for is given to you. If you will keep on thinking no one loves you or cares for you, or needs you, it will surely begin to happen. So, even if you don’t have a single person who loves you, don’t worry. Stand in front of the mirror, look at yourself, and see that you have your own divine self. You are divine – touch your face, feel your body – inhale deeply and see the spark in your eyes.

Thank this body, breathe and live. Give thanks for every little joy which life brings to you, and smile. And smile like you have never smiled before and move into deeper recesses of your heart to find yourself. The search for your self will bring you joy and love.

Soak your self in the goodness of this moment and let every day begin with it and end with it. Soon you will love this new way of living and glow. Yes! The glow which will come on your face will make other people wonder what you have found. From where is this joy, this spark coming? You aren’t going to worry about others at all, keep on living in this fashion and life will open up new possibilities for you.

When you are strong, vibrant, energetic, then you will begin to function as a magnet and people will get attracted to you. This is ironic: when you are a beggar, you are shunned but when you are rich with true knowledge, you become the real monarch.

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